Changing Tyler-Chapter Seventeen

I poked the “end” button and stared at the phone in my hand. The day had been spiraling out of control until I was sure I’d crash headfirst and explode, like a jet gone haywire, showering the entire city with flaming pieces of me. I’d not quite gotten used to the idea. Mom’s call felt like a parachute opening at the final possible second, jerking me away from impact. I might still land hard, might still suffer some serious damage, but I felt like I’d narrowly avoided a catastrophe.

Could it be true, or was that babe yanking my chain? more importantly, if it was true, would it last? Had this babe indeed seen the light and kicked his worthless booty to the curb? The only way to find out was to do as she’d begged me and go home.

“Tyler? u okay?” Dylan’s voice was full of concern, and I’m sure, a trace of guilt. this chab hadn’t exactly welcomed me into his home with open arms, although I could sort of understand why he’d felt the way this chab had. this chab was afraid that his parents would put two and 2 together and come up with a gay couple.

It still voided urine me off.

“Yeah, I’m wonderful. she told that she kicked Doug out.”

“Great! It’s about time, huh?”

“I guess.” I was still feeling the sting of his kewl reception. mama might have taken a step in the right direction, but as far as I was concerned, Dylan had taken two steps backward.

“Tyler, don’t be mad, ok? u know how it is with me.”

“Yeah, I know. I’m not insane. Well, maybe a little,” I said, being honest. “Look, don’t sweat it, okay? I understand. I have to go.”

Dylan bit his lip, looking like this chab wanted to say something else. I didn’t crave to hear it. Not then. For the first time in a lengthy while I was seeing a glimmer of light at the end of the darksome tunnel I’d been living in, and I didn’t crave soever this chab had to say to snuff that petite light out. I couldn’t handle one greater quantity thing – not one greater amount. whatever Dylan had to say could await until the following day.

“Tyler, it’s just that I’m not like u. I can’t let my folks discover out-”

“So all that talk about coming out and the prom was just u blowing smoke out of your butt?”

“That’s not fair, Tyler. you were upset. I was trying to make you feel better, you know?”

“Oh. So you lied to me.” That hurt me, a lot. I felt like I’d been sucker-punched. Not that I’d ever thought we’d really go to the prom together, but it had been good to think he’d wanted to take me.

“No! It wasn’t like that, Tyler. I just-”

“Whatever. I need to go, Dylan,” I said in advance of this chab could say everything else, and made my exit. I at no time looked in his folk’s direction as I stalked throughout the living room and out through the door.

I had the distinct feeling that I’d just broken up with my first boyfriend.

There was a large pile of trash at the curb when I got home, and it had “Doug” written all over it.

Bowling trophies, clothes, shoes, and an assortment of smaller odds and ends had been boxed up and put outside. mamma get to have been serious. She’d indeed cleaned house.

I found her in the kitchen, the table widen with cookies, chips, and a not quite empty pint of Ben & Jerry’s new York Super Fudge Chunk. That confirmed it – it was over between her and Doug and she’d been trying to smother the ache with trans fats. Her eyes were red and puffy, mascara tracks marring her cheeks. The left side of her face looked swollen and discolored.

that babe jumped up when that babe spotted me, nearly knocking me off my feet as she threw herself at me. “I’m so sorry, Tyler! I was naive and selfish and blind not to see what this guy was doing to you! I’m sorry!”

“Mom, its okay,” I said, giving her a hug and leading her to her chair. I touched her chin, tipping her face. “He did this, huh?” I asked, feeling anger roiling again, poking out the last lingering feelings of self-pity and heartache over the way I’d left things with Dylan. “He hit you?”

“It’s nothing. He’s gone now, Tyler. For precious. Forever.”

“He hit u. this guy hit you.” I couldn’t seem to acquire past those three words; they iterated themselves over and over in my head. It was much worse than when he’d tried to wallop me with his strap – this was my mom.  I no longer wanted him gone – I wanted him dead.

“Listen to me, Tyler,” mamma said, grasping one as well as the other my wrists. I was surprised at how strong she was. “It ends tonight. We forget all about him, about the crap this guy put us through, and we move on. Understand? I already called a lawyer and started the divorce ball rolling. It’s over.”

“He. Hit. You.”

“I know, and I’ve already filled out a report with the police. The lawyer asked for a restraining order against him. he won’t be able to come within five hundred feet of me or you. Your dad had friends who are still on the force. They won’t let him near us. Okay?”

“Mom…”

“Please, Tyler? Please? Promise me that you’ll stay away from him. Promise me.”

I didn’t crave to promise, but that babe looked so bad, so hurt and brittle, that I couldn’t say no. I nodded, and hugged her. “I’ll acquire you some ice.”

The freezer didn’t have an icemaker, so I slid the ice cube trays out and popped a hardly any cubes into Ziploc baggie. I handed it to mamma and watched as that babe held it gingerly to her cheek. “You’re pressing charges, right? You’re not going to let him acquire away with this, are you?”

“I don’t know. I wish it all over with, Tyler. Done and forgotten. I wish to begin over, you know? If I press charges, everybody will know. I have to go to work and I don’t want people looking at me, knowing that-”

“Mom!”

“We can talk about it the morning, okay? I’m not sure what I want to do right now,” this babe said, looking away from me. “Oh,” this babe said, brightening a little, “Billy called the house looking for you. this chab told you weren’t answering your cell phone.”

“Billy?”

“Yes. He’s home, I guess. he sounded like his old self, also. Why don’t u go and call him – he’s probably left a million messages on your phone.” this babe nodded toward the counter where my cell phone lay. that babe must have discovered it in my backpack and used it to call Dylan’s abode.

If there was one way to distract me from our problems with Doug and my own with Dylan, it would have been it. Billy – I’d nearly forgotten about him. I grabbed my phone. “Okay, but we’re going to talk greater quantity in the morning, right?”

“Sure, hon. In the morning.”

I didn’t believe her, but I went anyway. There really wasn’t anything else I could do. We’d merely proceed to arse heads if I stayed and tried to talk her into pressing charges against Doug. I didn’t crave to fight anymore. Not with her, and not with anyone else.

My phone was beeping with that annoying high pitched sound that meant the battery was low. I took it out and plugged it into the charger in advance of checking my messages.

There were fourteen missed calls and nine voicemails – eight messages from Billy and one from mama. I deleted Mom’s since I already knew what this babe had wanted to tell me, and went on to Billy’s messages. ‘

It was worthy to hear his voice, even if it was recorded, and even if I was still angry with him.

“Tyler? Dude, where are you? I need to talk to you!”

Click. Beep.

“Tyler, call me!”

Click. Beep.

“Goddamn it, Tyler! Where the Hell are you? Call me!”

Click. Beep.

The remaining five voicemails got progressively more vulgar; the final one was just a string of swear words linked by death threats if I didn’t call Billy back immediately. Regardless of the day I’d had, a smile widen across my face. That was the Billy I remembered – the stubborn, opinionated, self-absorbed potty-mouth. I hit his number on speed dial.

this chab answered on the first ring.

“Dude! Where the Hell have you been? I’ve been calling you all night!” Billy cried, as if he hadn’t been missing for days.

“Me? What about you? Do u have any idea of what you’ve put me through? First that whole thing with Robbie, and the motel, then the hospital, and then what happens? you fall off the face of the earth for two days! Billy, I ought to come over there and wring your freaking neck!”

“I know, I know. I should have called. I was pissed, okay?”

“You were pissed?” I began to pace, but the recharging cord kept me from walking very far. It not quite jerked my phone out of my hand. I had to be satisfied with pacing in a very small, tight circle.

“Yeah. you were being a dickhead about everything.”

“Me? u were talking crazy, Billy! I-”

“None of that matters anymore, bro. I got my test results back.” I could nearly hear him grinning over the phone. that guy was the same old Billy, able to forget that we’d ever fought, sometimes during the time that we were still fighting. Thank God. He’d come to his senses, this guy was negative, and everything was going to go back to normal. He’d help me deal with my mom, and receive over Dylan.

“I’m positive, dude! Isn’t that great?”

I brought the phone away from my ear, staring at it as if there were smth wrong with it. There had to be – it was impossible that Billy had just told me this guy was HIV positive and had sounded cheerful about it. The phone was broken. It had to be. There was no other rational explanation for what I was hearing.

“Tyler? Tyler did you hear me?” Billy’s voice sounded miniature and far away as I sluggishly returned the phone to my ear.

“Billy? You’re kidding me, right? Tell me you’re joking. Tell me this is some type of weird, twisted practical joke.”

“No. It’s true! I’ve spent the last 2 hours packing up all my stuff. I’m moving in with Robbie.”

“Have you told your parents?” I still couldn’t wrap my mind around it. Billy. HIV. My God. Maybe this chab was in shock, or denial. Yeah, that have to be it. Hadn’t Robbie said me that that guy and Billy were throughout? Had they hooked back up, or was Billy refusing to see the truth about that, also?

“Why? So they can ship me off to some other boarding school? No, thank you. I’m heading over to Robbie’s in a few. I’ll leave them a note.”

A note? How did anyone write smth like that in a note? Hi, mom and dad. I’ve got a deadly, incurable  virus which I contracted on purpose, and I’m moving in with the chap who gave it to me. Oh, yeah, and we’re out of milk. Love, Billy. Not even Billy could be that cruel, could that guy?

Did I even know Billy well sufficiently to answer that question? I was forced to admit that I didn’t, but I had to try to reach him anew.

“Billy, why don’t u come over here? We can talk about this, reason it out, okay? What about school? College?” I was babbling and I knew it, but couldn’t help myself. I had the feeling that if Billy moved in with Robbie, I’d at no time see him afresh. He’d be lost.

“You’re not understanding, Tyler. There’s no thing to talk about. This is my life, and I made my decision. I love Robbie and that guy likes me. We’re going to be jointly now. I don’t need school, I don’t need my folks.”

“I guess you don’t need me, either, then?”

There was a moment of silence, filled only by the hum of my alarm clock and the faraway sound of music playing in Billy’s room. “Maybe not. Look, I have to go. I just wanted to call to tell u the news so that you’d be cheerful for me.”

“Happy for you!” I screeched, losing it at last. “How can I be cheerful that you’re going to die? Huh, Billy? What’s so great about that?”

I was screaming at dead air. Billy had hung up. he was gone.

I threw the phone down in a fit of impotent anger, not caring if broke. In the mood I was in, I didn’t wish to talk to anyone ever afresh. Not that I really had anyone left to talk to, in any case. No Billy. No Dylan. mommy was a mess.

I was alone afresh.

And it sucked.