Changing Tyler-Chapter Fourteen

There was no sign of Doug in the house, which I chalked up to pure, dumb luck. Hearing his face hole was the final thing I needed that night, and I was grateful that I wouldn’t have to deal with him on top of everything else.

mama led me into the kitchen and pointed to a chair, momspeak for “sit down, shut up, and listen.”

I sat. u just didn’t argue with my mother when that babe had that look on her face, the one that said me she meant business. The last time I’d seen that look had been when I’d been in grade school and had gotten caught swiping a comic book from the drugstore. believe me when I tell you it was the first and final thing I’d ever taken that didn’t belong to me. mom was small and tender looking, even at forty-five, but she was wiry and as tough as a Marine when this babe wanted to be.

“Mom,” I began, not sure how much that babe knew. Did she know about Billy? About me? Oh, God, did she know about me and Dylan? “I-”

“Exactly when were you going to tell me about Billy?”

“T-tell you what?”

“That he’s missing! Where is he, Tyler? you have to know – u and Billy are thicker than peanut butter. His mother called cuz he’d slipped out of the house this morning after being released from the hospital and hasn’t come back yet. this babe thought this guy might be here.”

“He’s not at home? Mom, I don’t know where this chab is! I’ve been trying to call him since this afternoon, but that guy won’t pick up and this guy hasn’t called me back. I didn’t even know he’d been released until I got to the hospital today!”

“Billy’s mother told that you were the one who brought him into the hospital. u didn’t tell me that on Saturday night, Tyler. start talking, and don’t you dare stop until you’ve told me everything.” this babe sat down at the table, leaned her arms on the surface and stared at me, lips drawn into a taut line. she meant it. I could either spill my guts or sit there all night. When that babe looked at me like that I knew that she’d acquire every word out of me, even if she had to pull ’em out of my mouth with a couple of pliers, one at a time.

I was also tired, also shaken over the incident with Robbie to resist.

“Okay, okay. You’re not going to like it, though,” I said, sighing heavily.

she sighed, too. “Tyler, what are u worried about? Have I ever turned my back on you when you’ve said me the truth? You’re my son. I love u. no thing u tell me will ever change that.”

I looked up at her and saw the truth of it in her eyes. I knew in that moment that this was the right time. The past not many days had been so hard on me, with all the ups and downs. I was scared and confused, and I needed her support, if she’d give it. Making up my mind, I nodded to myself and reached for her hand.

“Mom,” I said, deciding to keep it as facile as possible. “I’m gay.”

“Oh, I know that, hon,” she said, patting the back of my hand with her free one, “now tell me about Billy.”

“Wait – u know? How could you know?” I gasped, feeling as if I’d been sucker-punched. “Who said you?”

“Nobody, dear. You’re my son. I know u more good than you think I do. Besides, Tyler,” this babe said, rolling her eyes, “your laundry doesn’t put itself away, u know.”

My laundry? I quickly went through the roster of things I kept in my dresser drawers. Batteries, a couple of old comic books, a rubber-banded stack of baseball cards…oh, no. The magazine I’d borrowed from Billy, the kind a guy didn’t buy for the articles. She’d discovered it.

She’d snooped throughout my things!

she was a mom, I chastised myself. That’s what they did best. It was my own fault. I should have known more good than to keep stuff like that where she could discover it.

It was F-bomb time again, all though I had the worthwhile sense to say it silently, inside my head.

“Its okay, Tyler. As long as you’re careful and happy, that’s all that matters to me,” mommy told. “That young guy who dropped u off, the one with the Mustang, is he…?”

“Yeah. His name’s Dylan, and he’s truly nice, mamma. You’ll like him,” I said, just as if we’d had this sort of conversation all the time. I think I was in shock. I couldn’t make no doubt of that coming out to my mother, the pont of time I’d dreaded for so long, agonized over, lost sleep over, had gone so smoothly. I was nearly insulted that that babe hadn’t put up a fuss over it, that she’d figured it out on her own. I nearly felt cheated.

“What happened to Billy the night you took him to the hospital, Tyler? Were u doing drugs? u need to tell me.” Her voice was stern again, and I realized why she’d been so upset. that babe thought I was a stoner.

“No! I don’t do that stuff, mom. you know me – I can’t even take Tylenol out of getting an upset stomach,” I told. “Billy had a date that night with an older boy. I didn’t want him to go, in fact, we’d argued about it. But then we made up, and this guy told he’d call me after his date. this guy didn’t, though, and I got worried.

“Dylan drove me to see the guy Billy had gone out with. He…” Here came the hard part, and I tried to figure out how to tell her without using the s-e-x word. “He told he’d left Billy at a motel, over in Chester. We went out to discover him, and…Mom, it wasn’t pretty, okay?”

“What do u mean?” she crammed. Obviously, this babe wasn’t going to let me off the hook that easily. I drank hard and told her the rest of the story, up to and including my last argument with Billy.

“HIV! Oh, my God, Tyler! Does his mother know?”

“I don’t know. They have to know that the hospital tested him for it, but I don’t know if they’ve gotten the results, yet.”

“I don’t understand. Billy wanted to become infected? Why? Why would this guy do something like that? Oh, no…Tyler, you don’t do everything like that do you? u don’t go around with strange men-”

“Mom! No! Of course not! I’ve not at any time even…Jesus, Mom! Do we have to talk about this now?”

she bit her lip, looking hard at me. “Okay. Just tell me that u don’t believe the same way Billy does. Tell me that you’re careful. It solely takes a condom, hon, and I’ll buy ’em for you if you need me to-”

“I am! Or…I will be when I finally…” I shook my head, not wanting to finish my sentence. “Mom, please. I can’t handle the thought of you buying condoms. I don’t even desire to hear u say the word, ok? It’s freaking me out. But Billy, well, that’s why I’m so upset over it! I can’t understand it either, and neither can Dylan.”

“Is that were you got these scrapes and bruises? At that motel?”

“No,” I said, sighing. I told her about the car hitting my bike, and in advance of I knew it I’d told her anything else, too, including my date with Dylan and my collision Robbie in the parking lot.

That last part made mamma blow a gasket. “He threatened you! We’re going to the police and filing a report, Tyler. I mean it. Your father must be spinning in his grave over this!”

I swallowed hard. My dad, the cop – I tried not to think about him, or what my life might have been like if he’d lived. “No, no police, mommy. Please. this chab didn’t do anything to me, and I don’t have any witnesses. Besides, I’m not out to somebody else. I don’t crave the whole city to know, okay?” I was practically begging. I was beneath sufficiently pressure already.

“Okay, ok. But,” this babe said, jabbing her finger onto the table, emphasizing her words. “If this guy comes near u again, all bets are off. We’ll go straight to the police. Understand?”

“Yeah. I understand.”

“Good. I’m going to call Billy’s mom back and tell her that u don’t know where this chab is.”

“Mom, Billy’s folks aren’t the best parents on the planet. They don’t care-”

“She sounded like she cared, Tyler. she was crying on the phone.”

I hesitated. It wasn’t what I’d expected to hear. “Crying? But when I called to ask where Billy was on Sunday, Billy’s daddy acted like that guy couldn’t care less!”

“I don’t know about his father, Tyler, but his mother was very upset.”

Maybe I misunderstood the whole thing. Maybe there was more going on than Billy said me.  Was his mother really was anxious about him? Had these been lies Billy had said me, to have me feeling sorry for him? I didn’t know anymore.

“Do you have any idea at all of where that guy might be?” mama asked, drawing me back to the conversation.

“Not indeed. I guess I could call Dylan. We could drive around to the usual places – the mall, the school, maybe the arcade. watch if he’s there,” I told.

“Okay, fine. I’ll call Billy’s mama and daddy and let them know.”

Speaking of dads, I thought, now was as worthy a time as any. “While we’re talking about stuff, mom, I wanted to talk to you about Doug.”

“Tyler, what goes on betwixt Doug and me is-”

“Please don’t say that it’s none of my business!” I said, looking her square in the eye. I tried not to sound angry, but I probably didn’t do a very admirable job of it. “This open dialogue crap works one as well as the other ways, mamma. He’s a drunk, he’s a deadbeat, this guy treats u like shit, and I don’t understand why u let him stay here!”

“Watch your language, youthful man!” this babe said. “I’m still your mother and you’ll respect me, understand?” she leaned back and looked at the ceiling for a not many minutes previous to speaking again. When she did, her voice was soft and this babe sounded like a juvenile cutie. “He wasn’t like this in the starting. I thought I loved him. that guy was worthy to me, priceless to you.”

“He’s not.”

“I know. that guy started drinking and lost his job, and then… I keep putting it off. I keep telling myself that he’ll change. That that guy can be the dude that guy used to be,” mamma told. she shook her head, slapping her hands flat on the table. That was momspeak for “this conversation is over.”

“I’ll talk to him, Tyler. I promise.”

That was all I was going to receive from her, and I knew it. It wasn’t the answer I wanted, but it was more good than no thing.

When I stood up, she hugged me, and suddenly I felt like a five year old who just knew that anything was going to be ok because mama would take care of it. The feeling dissipated when this babe let go; it was  worthy while it lasted.

I dug into my pocket for my cell phone and dialed Dylan. this chab answered on the first ring.  “Hey, it’s me.”

“Hey. What’s up? anything okay?” God, it was priceless to hear his voice, even though I’d only left him a short whilst agone.

“I came out to my mom.”

“Oh, God. How’d she take it?” I could hear the worry in his voice; this guy thought it had gone badly and I was calling to cry on his shoulder. It felt great to have wonderful news for a change. The stuff with Billy could wait a not many minutes.

“Actually? A lot more good than I’d thought. she already knew, and this babe was phat with it. At least, that’s what that babe told. that babe asked about you.”

“About me? How’d this babe know about me?”

“She saw u dropping me off. My mom’s got eyes like a freaking hawk.”

“She’s worthy with it? Me and you, I mean.”

“Seems to be. Just said me to be careful and then spent a few minutes making me exceedingly uncomfortable during the time that this babe lectured me on safe sex.”

I heard Dylan snort over the line. “Been there, done that, with my dad. For girls, I mean, not…you know.”

“I know. that babe offered to buy condoms for me, Dylan.”

That time this chab laughed out loud. “Oh, man, I so desire your mama to be my mom.”

“Yeah, that babe has her moments,” I said dryly, wondering if Dylan’s opinion would change if this chab knew she’d married scum like Doug, then was instantly sorry for thinking that way. My mamma was worthwhile person – she’d just made some lousy choices, that was all. this babe was human, just like the rest of us. “Listen, are u doing anything now?”

“I was going to crack the books. Why?”

“Billy’s gone missing again.”

“Again? Jesus, Tyler! He’s making a habit of that, isn’t he?” Dylan told. I could hear the irritation in his voice. No wonder – he’d already spent the past four days playing the same tired game of find Billy with me.

“Yeah. I was type of wondering if you’d mind driving me around to look for him. His mama called my mommy and now-”

“I’m on my way.”

Just like that. Annoyed or not, that guy was still going to drop whatsoever this guy was doing and drive over, and I felt a wave of relief and a spark of excitement over seeing him afresh. Yeah, Dylan was definitely a keeper, I thought. I merely hoped he’d wish to be kept.